I’m fairly certain that there are a handful of spaces in my home where I can hear God the most clearly. In the steamy fog of my shower, standing at the island with an old Pyrex mixing bowl in hand, in the cozy quiet of my downstairs office, and standing in front of the dryer folding fluffy warm clothes seem to be the places He whispers to me the most often.
That was the case this morning.
I reached my sweatshirt clad arms into the heat of the dryer and pulled out my youngest son’s favorite gray fleece pants. As I shook the wrinkles out and lined up the seams to fold them, I had to shake my head and smile.
This barely teenage boy of mine isn’t really all that concerned with impressing others yet. That fact combined with the fact that he loves to be comfortable and cozy have caused these pants to become a recent arch nemesis of mine.
Approximately once a week, typically on our homeschool days, I have to tell this sweet boy that we have an errand to run or somewhere that we have to be that requires us to leave the house. Because I’m not as unconcerned about other people’s opinions as my very confident 13 year old, I have the absolutely unreasonable rule that we put on actual clothes that at least sort of match and look presentable before we leave the house.
Enter the continual conflict of the gray fleece pants.
These are my son’s favorite pants but, unfortunately for us all, they have gotten a hole in the knee. In my eyes, that disqualifies them for “out of the house” wear. The problem is that my guy doesn’t mind the hole. He likes to remind me, when I’m telling him to go change his pants, that the hole is hardly noticeable unless you get close and that the pants don’t even look that bad.
As roll my eyes and I lay these troublesome pants in his laundry basket I hear God whisper to my heart, “You’re a lot like that, dear one. You’ve had holes that you didn’t seem to mind. When I want to do the work of making you whole, it is sometimes challenging to get you to see that just because the holes aren’t all that noticeable and don’t look that bad doesn’t mean they don’t need to be made well.”
Sometimes truth stings a little.
Last year, my word of the year was SHALOM. It means peace in Hebrew. It also means whole and complete. God and I have been on a journey of SHALOM. He’s been bring peace, healing, and wholeness to some areas of my life that were a little holey.
He’s showing me that completeness comes only through Him. He wants me to be whole. He’s in the process of helping me move me from holey all the way to wholly, and I’ve been a little resistant to the journey.
You see, not too long ago, I didn’t mind my holes. I’d learned to live with them just fine, in fact, they were hardly even noticeable unless I looked at them closely. They didn’t even look that bad, but God didn’t want me walking around with spiritual, emotional, or relational holes. He wanted me to be whole.
He wants to make me more and more like Jesus, so he’s asking me to journey from holey to whole.
Earlier this year as I thought about my word for 2020, I felt him smile and shake his head in much the same way that I did while I was folding Gavin’s pants.
“No, sweet girl,” He whispered. “We’re not done with SHALOM quite yet.”
So, on I go on this journey from holey to whole, with the only one who can take me there.
And I can’t help but wonder if He’s wanting to get rid of some of the holes in your life as well. Maybe it’s a relationship that is broken, a faith that has been turned away from, or a deep pain in your soul that you’ve buried that is feeling a bit like a gaping hole deep inside of you.
Maybe you barely even notice it anymore. Maybe it doesn’t seem that all that bad unless you really look at it closely.
I’m familiar with those kind of holes. I’ve had a few of my own that I thought I could get by with.
He showed me wholeness is worth working towards. Healing, peace, and completeness can be found through Him if we ask and then are willing to journey with Him towards it.
If you’ve got holes, friend, ask Him to help you move towards whole. It won’t be easy. You may be reluctant. Heck, you may even stubbornly think it’s ok to wear the holes for a while longer.
And that’s ok. It’s a process. It’s a journey.
Just be willing to ask Him to show you the truth about the holes and be willing to move with Him towards whole.