Man, lately my life just seems to be hovering in the unknown. Have you been there, in that phase of life when things just don't seem to make a lot of sense? I seem to be there a lot lately. It's not even a bad thing. It's just different for me.
I'm pretty good at just rolling with things. Although I love order and a control, I'm not to shabby at just flying by the seat of my pants sometimes too. This is different though.
This is not flying by the seat of my pants. There is still a bit of control in that. Most of the time, I still get the choice of where, when, and how to fly and when not to.
This is a little more out of my control than that. This phase of life almost seems like a roller coaster ride. There is a track and a destination and I'm barreling down it at full speed with lots of really high highs and some places where the bottom just drops out. Sometimes I'm thrown for a loop. There are some tunnels and some places where I get turned upside down a little, and sometimes I'm tempted to close my eyes when it gets a little scary.
But, I'm also tempted to give in to the ride. I want to just throw my hands in the air and scream and enjoy myself. I want to give in to the complete freedom! I don't know exactly how this roller coaster works, but I don't really need to. I mean, I am pretty sure I saw the end destination when I jumped on board, but every twist and every turn and every thrilling moment in between is new to me. So I just hang on tight. I mean, the operator knows what's going on, so there is no need to worry. I can just sit back and enjoy the ride, even if I'm a little scared and a little confused and a little nervous!
Been there? Understand at all?
I know God has a plan and I can see where the destination might be, but I really don't understand the path that's leading me there. There are a lot of unknowns along the way. Sometimes I am at the peak and sometimes I'm down in that valley. Sometimes I'm in that tunnel where things look a little dark and I can't see my hand in front of my face. At other times I'm turned upside down or thrown for a loop, but the operator of this ride is in total control.
After all, he isn't just the operator, He designed the ride just for me with every detail along the way. Each high and each low was put in place for a purpose along the journey. He mapped out each turn just for me!
This roller coaster ride never surprises the operator. He knows every twist and turn, every peak and valley. All of my unknowns and completely known by him. I know he's in total control and I trust him.
So, here's to giving up control to the one who knows all, operates all, and designed each detail and JUST hanging on for dear life and enjoying the ride!
"Have you not heard? Long ago I ordained it. In the days of old I planned it; now I have brought it to pass."
2 Kings 19:25
Love and blessings,
Sometimes my faith wavers a bit. It's not something that I'm proud of, but I have the tendency to look at hard situations and say "why me?", "why now?", "what in the world is the purpose of this?". My first response to something is usually emotional and full of questions.
This morning as I sat and read my Bible, I was floored by the faith Rebekah showed in Genesis 25. She was just going about her day, drawing water from the well like she always did, when God rocked her whole world. Everything changed for her in a mater of minutes when she was told that the Lord had a plan for her.
She didn't question even once? I would have grilled that poor servant to no end! I would have needed him to go though and tell me again, step by step. I would have had lots of questions. This guy is trying to change my whole world after all! Am I just suppose to trust him and trust that God has a plan at work here? That's a big leap of faith!
Rebekah did though! She RAN to tell her household and they all welcomed this traveling servant in. Without a second thought. Because they knew he came with a plan from the Lord.
As that servant laid out the events that led him there and told Rebekah's family of God's plan, they surely had to be shocked. Didn't they have any questions? Who is this son of your master? God wants to do what now? You want to take her where? And you prayed what right before Rebekah showed up? Are you sure? Maybe we should take a few days to think this thorough?
But no. That's not how it went at all.
"This is from the Lord; we have no choice in the matter...Let it be as the Lord has spoken." (Gen 24:50)
"They called Rebekah and said to her, "Will you go with this man?" She replied, "I will go." (Gen 24:57-58)
And she did. Just like that.
Even though it had to be hard to just drop everything, leave everything she had ever known, and walk into a situation that was very unknown and possibly scary. She unwaveringly believed that God had a good plan for her, and she stepped out of all she had ever known into his glorious plan without a moment's hesitation.
I want to trust God's plan like that. It's easy when His plan is easy, but when that plan has me walking into something unknown or scary, I sometimes drag my feet. I question. "Why?" "How?" "Are you sure you've got me God, because this looks hard?"
Oh, to have a faith like Rebekah! As I'm walking though things that I don't fully understand right now, I am choosing to turn away from my norm and respond like Rebekah. It may be hard. It may be unknown and even a little scary.
But I'm choosing to answer with, "I will go." That's it. Just, "I will go." And then I will. Completely trusting that God has a plan for whatever it is I'm being called into and He will work it all for His ultimate good.
Love and blessings,
Do you ever feel like the more you learn, the more you realize that you don't know? Man, I feel that way that a lot. The more I study something or try to understand a situation that I thought I mostly understood, the more I see its complexities. I realize I didn't know as much as I thought I did. So, I keep trying to get a better understanding and as I study, some things become clear and some times I realize there is still so much I don't know.
Can I be honest? Sometimes I feel that way as I look at life and it's situations.
I KNOW God. I KNOW Jesus. I KNOW what He did for me. I KNOW His love. I KNOW these things because I've experienced them. I have felt His presence and I've experienced His hand on my life. I believe and have faith because I KNOW, from personal experience, of His love, mercy, Grace, and forgiveness.
But, the more I read my Bible and study the character of God, the more I understand how much of a mystery He is. His ways are so far above mine that sometimes I just have to trust in complete faith. That's a big part of faith, the act of just believing.
I love studying the Old Testament because I love learning about God's character. I've learned so much about His love, His mercy, His patience, His kindness and His long suffering. I've learned how gracious He is to a people who just can't seem to get it right and continually fail Him. I've learned that He is true to His word.
I've also learned that He is so much more than I could grasp. I've learned I can't comprehend all He does and all He allows. I don't fully understand the plan.
BUT He sees the beginning and the end and works accordingly. He isn't limited at all by the tiny view of things that I am limited by.
This morning in my Bible reading, I was just awe struck by a couple of verses. 1Kings 12:15 says "...for this turn of events was from the Lord to fulfill His word..." And 1Kings 12:24 says..."for this is my doing..."
Wow! What a powerful, mighty, sovereign God! His hand can be seen in everything! The good and the seemingly bad.
Both of these verses reference situations that weren't particularly pleasant at the time. But, they show God working out His master plan to bring His people back to Him. Because He loves them that much. Because He is good and mighty and sovereign.
I can only relate it to this; just like sometimes as a parent, I have to allow my kiddos to experience both the good and the bad of life to be a loving parent, our Father allows us the same opportunity. Because that is a part of His character too. He is rightous and just. He is sovereign. He is omnipotent. He is a good Father who looks at the long term when He is growing and shaping His children.
So, even though I don't always understand the situation I'm walking though, I can trust in Him because I KNOW the one who is in control of it. I KNOW His plan for me is good and that His purpose is for me to grow closer to Him. I don't have to understand or to have all the answers, because I trust the one who does.
Man, sometimes life can be difficult! It seems like so many people that I love are under attack right now. I've been under attack. Sometimes things get hard. It can be easy to feel a little overwhelmed by the chaos and strife that is just an ugly part of life.
Sickness, loss of loved ones, hurt, discontent, job loss, distraction, discouragement... The list can go on and on. And it often does. Sometimes the casualties of life just pile up and we lose heart a little.
I was reading in 2 Samuel today and just felt really connected to David. He just struggled sometimes. This poor guy has gone through it all. He came from a poor family. He spent the better part of his life under attacks from his king, his enemies, even his own family. He failed God is some pretty big ways and had to deal with some pretty big consequences as a result. He lost loved ones. He was shamed and ridiculed and his people turned against him. He just seems to be constantly dealing with life. He had every reason to get discouraged and lose heart. But through it all, God stood beside him and walked him through his trials. God loved him, disciplined him when necessary, and blessed him when he did right. And through it all, David kept his eyes on God and never forgot who He was.
This morning as I was sitting here just honestly feeling a little overwhelmed, I came upon 2 Samuel 22. Phew! If you ever need a little pick me up or some encouragement, read it and let it remind you who God is.
David reminded me this morning that God is flawless. He is my rock, my shield, and my salvation. He is alive! He is my savior who delivers me and preserves me. God is mighty. He arms me with strength and stoops down to make me great. He is God and He is worthy of praise.
He is my fortress, my refuge, my support, my stronghold, my salvation, my rock, and my shield. He rescues me from my enemies.
He is faithful. He is blameless. He is pure.
With My God, darkness is turned to light. With Him, I can advance. With Him, I can scale the walls that hold me back. He avenges me and gives me victory.
He reached down from on high and took hold of me. He drew me out of deep waters . He rescued me and delights in me. When I call out to Him, He hears me.
God lives. He is my rock. He is exalted. He is my savior. He shows me unfailing kindness.
When I sit and read 2 Samuel, I'm reminded that He is in control of the chaos. He brings beauty from ashes and He works things for my good because He loves me. He is on my side and fights for me. That discouragement and distraction that I was feeling just flee in the face of who He is.
Love and blessings,
Today I was reminded of two little words that instantly create a bond. These two little words can quickly turn strangers in to friends.
I spoke at our local MOPS meeting on repurposing. More accurately, I spoke about the work of repurposing furniture and drew some parallels to the way that Jesus has repurposed my life.
I was a little nervous. Speaking doesn't really bother me. What made me nervous was that I really felt led to drop any pretenses and just be vulnerable and transparent. Just putting myself out there has always been a little difficult for me. I have a lot of baggage and a lot of junk. It's not always easy to just leave all of that exposed.
It's also beautiful in the hands of God. And sometimes necessary.
You see, by sharing our story- even the ugly parts- we can show the work that God has done to repurpose us. We can show the way he has turned messy into a masterpiece. We can show that nothing is ever too broken to be remade into something beautiful in His hands. And maybe, hopefully, we can give a little encouragement to someone who knows all too well what it means to be a little worn and tattered.
As I spoke today, I looked out into the faces of His beautiful daughters and I didn't see looks of condemnation or judgement. I saw smiles and some tears. I saw nods of agreement and lips mouthing "me too". I felt such love and encouragement. I felt such connection and community. I felt my walls crumbling.
Those walls that we build around ourselves as protection crumble a little when people are brave enough to be vulnerable . I think sometimes, God calls us to that type of vulnerability and openness as a way to not only point to His love and mercy and grace, but to connect us to others. Aren't we all part of the same body?
Reach out. Be bold. Share. Encourage. Uplift. Point to Jesus. Connect with people. Let them see that you are an imperfect person, living your life to glorify a perfect Jesus, so that they can look you in the eyes and say "me too".
Love and blessings,